Grumpy Sad and Happy!

The title of this post has made me laugh as I feel like its a part cast of Snow White, my height as you can see gives me a lead role for one of her seven friends.

Well Paige had great news, she was accepted for all of her university places. York, Sheffield, Nottingham Loughborough and Derby, the latter being her choice. She started out last year on her sports course to train to be a PE teacher, but her work with Primary school children as part of the course was so rewarding, she has now changed courses to be a teacher for little ones.

I am very proud of the young woman she has become, she has a lot of my qualities and a lot of her Dad's she knows what she wants, is self disciplined, confident mostly, incredibly patient above all a really warm caring heart which will be ideal for teaching children.

I have encouraged and supported her where I can, she has blossomed at college and I have been really happy to see her start her own journey. 

Then towards the end of last week, it dawned on me I was losing her, she went off  flat hunting this week (cheaper than uni digs), I  missed her intensely and this is not even the leaving day!

I have felt very grumpy about this, its been my way of dealing with it and to stem the real feeling of loss. I haven't really voiced it. I have been grumpy with her and then really mad at myself for being snippy and off  I I hate not voicing my real emotions and I find it pretty dishonest. But I felt the real emotion of sadness, loss and losing a best friend was too raw to put into words.

I passed her bedroom door while she was away and felt urges to grab her when she came home and make her stay, selfish urges one and all. Then the grumpiness broke and I decided I had to deal with it and also to talk to Paige

 I decided to voice it, I told her how I felt yesterday,we went on a wander around the city,had cake and tea and put it all right.

I know she will be back lots as she intends to work here at weekends and holidays but it will not be the same. 

 I will wipe my tears for now, talk to her, cry a lot and then smile and be really happy for her, I know its going to be different but I also know for her it will be an amazing life.